How to Support a Survivor of Sexual and Interpersonal Violence
Validate the survivor by using encouraging words
It takes a lot of strength and courage to disclose. Survivors are not responsible for the harmful actions committed against them. When someone you care about tells you they’ve experienced violence; it can be a lot to process. A supportive reaction can make all the difference; encouraging words and phrases can avoid judgment and show support for the survivor. Focus on questions about the student’s needs, not the event.
Know your resources.
You’re a great friend/supporter/resource, but that doesn’t mean you are equipped to manage someone else’s well-being. Become familiar with resources available on campus and in the community. Check out the SSAC SIPV page for some local/national resources.
Let the survivor make their own decisions.
You can provide information and options to the survivor, but always let the survivor make their own decisions. Some survivors feel a deep sense of betrayal due to the violation that occurred. One way to empower survivors is to allow them to take the lead in their healing process. Instead of taking charge, ask how you can help
Know your reporting responsibilities.
Are you a non-confidential employee at GMU? This makes you required to report incidents of sexual misconduct and interpersonal violence to the Title IX coordinator; it is important that you are upfront about your reporting obligations with a survivor. Please visit https://universitypolicy.gmu.edu/policies/sexual-harassment-policy/ for more details.
Respect the survivor's healing process.
Healing is not a linear process and each survivor heals in their own way and in their own time. Respect that some survivors want space and what they need may change over time. Respecting the healing process does not mean letting the survivor deal with the aftermath on their own. Continue to check in and offer support after the event
How to Support Yourself while Supporting a Survivor
Know your limitations.
If the survivor you are supporting is experiencing an emergency or they reveal that they intend to harm themselves or someone else, that is something you cannot keep to yourself. Call 911 in an emergency.
Respect your personal boundaries
Supporting a survivor does not mean that we have to ignore our personal boundaries, it is okay to help get a survivor connected to outside resources if the situation is out of your scope of care.
Take care of yourself
It is difficult to support someone who has experienced interpersonal violence and can lead to vicarious trauma. To learn more about this please visit RAINN's website. It is important to check-in with yourself and to take care of yourself. Don't be afraid to reach out for support.